I sit here as I write this and can hear the birds twittering in the trees behind me. There is a number of different birds, each with its own unique tune to its warble. Its lovely to hear them sing. A plane flies overhead on its way to its destination and the dog plays with her toys around me. As I do this, I think of God; how he made perfect all his creations, with all its beauty and with all its flaws and uniqueness. I look past the beauty and look to God. as I do this, I reflect on tomorrows service, which has caused some angst, particularly since I am leading. At first it was thought it was going to be a difficult service, but it now is not going to be as intense as we first thought. The people who have had conversations with me have all said reasonable and rational statements, so I find it hard to discern what is from God and what is not. I draw to my spiritual leader to help me out. I must remember that we are all human, made perfect in our inhumanity complete with sins and flaws. As I grow in my walk with Jesus, I find it is important to identify and address these sins and flaws. At the moment it is quite intense as one aspect overlays another, and there is a very strong sense of the presence of Satan, telling me falsehoods; but it will settle. I know that it will from placing my faith and trust in the LORD and letting him work in my life.

I feel like a rosebud, ready to burst out in full bloom in the spring weather but deep within me is some built up impurities that need to be rid of. As I burst open, presenting my soft silken petals to the sun, the wind blows aways the impurities and I am there to be admired because Gods holiness is glowing through every fiber of my being.

God is in my life, he sits within my heart and my beliefs. He shows me the way but how clear that is depends on the openess of my heart to him. I see visions of Christ, within prayer; of him coming to hold my hand as I walk through some very difficult emotions and situations. He stands beside me as I fight off Satan, and we fight this battle together. Christ also rallies around my prayer partners – women in my bible group and people in leadership. I have a very strong sense that they are present with me in this battle – I can’t see them, but I know who they are and that they are there.

Why does Satan choose me? I can’t always answer that, I can only assume. Its only after events that the picture becomes clear, but I am finding as I step closer and closer to God, the picture becomes clearer earlier. At one of our groups, I was given this article -

Refiners Fire

When we are going through the refiners furnace, it may be hot, it may not be fun, we may wonder if we are going to survive through the fire, but we will not be burned. we will not even smell like smoke.

Daniel 3: 25-27

“He answered and said, “Look! I see four men loosed and walking about in the midst of the fire without harm, and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods!” Then Nebuchadnezzar came near tot he door of the furnace of blazing fire; he responded and said, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego, come out, you servants of the Most HIgh God, and come here!” Then Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego came out of the midst of the fire. And the Satraps, the prefects, the governers and the kings high officials gathered around and saw in regard to these men that the fire had no effect on the bodies of these men nor was the hair of their head singed, nbor were their trousers damaged, nor had the smell of fire even come upon them.”

When we are going through the Refiners Fire, it is not because we have sinned. It is because the Lord is either molding us more into His image, or because He is using us to show off His glory. What a blessing-to actually go through suffering so that we can reflect the character of God.

We should not run from the fire, but embrace it. It actually is also a consuming fire, but instead of destroying and devastating us, it consumes the dross; and instead of scars, we look more like Jesus in His glory.

I was challenged at church today through this verse. We were asked to think about how much focus we put on our own houses rather than focusing on the LORD in our lives. In a society that encourages people to work as long as possible and fund their retirement packages, it is difficult to move away from that thinking. Our government wants as many people to self fund their retirement relieving the financial burden on the government coffers. My husband thinks in this way frequently, wanting us to be in a secure financial position so that we can live comfortably in our retirement.

Whilst I can see his wisdom in a secular point of view, I struggle with it spiritually. We have the resources to pay off the home that we are living in now and be able to live a comfortable, but not affluent lifestyle. My hubby struggles with this, because his ex-wife was not responsible with money and he sees our lives being much more productive than he had with his ex-wife.

Haggai says “Give careful thought to your ways. You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.” 1: 5-6

“Because of my house, which remains in ruins, while each of you is busy with your own house.” Haggai 1: 9

What was suggested today was that people failed to give first priority to God’s work and that was the challenge today. I wonder if that is something I need to think about more carefully with my husband?

One of my desires is to be able to serve the LORD, giving care and fellowship to people who may not otherwise receive it because of illness, infirmity, or disability. As a nurse, I have the skills, and the gifts were given to me by God to enable me to become a nurse and work well at it. Maybe we need to be serving God now, and not focusing on the future, because we do not what that will bring to us. Its all very well planning for retirement, but we do not know what that is going to bring us.

Some of the points I wrote down today is to:

Repent of our idolatry – our financial focus (is that Idolatry or am I taking it out of context of a secular world that pushes us into that state by its policies made at national level?)

It is suggested that is why God destroyed the first temple. God requires whole hearted devotion, to love God, to serve him and to witness to other people about him.

What are your thoughts?

Psalm 138

1. I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; before the gods I will sing your praise.

2. I will bow down toward your holy temple and will praise your name for your love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word.

3. When I called, you answered me, you made me bold and stoutheated.

4. May all the kings of the earth praise you, O Lord, when they hear the words of your mouth.

5. May they sing of the ways of the Lord, for the glory of the Lord is great.

6. Though the Lord is on high, he looks upon the lowly, but the proud he knows from afar.

7. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of me foes, with your right hand you save me.

8. The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord endures forever – do not abandon the works of your hands.

When I think about this Psalm, it speaks very much into my life at the moment. I think of the secular world and how it tries to draw me back to it, dismissing God from my life and thinking in a secular framework to reach our own solutions and conclusions without handing it over to God.  Our day is very busy – we rise and have to get our disabled boys ready for their program. This means making sure they are both awake, that neither of them have wet the bed and then if they have, encouraging them to strip the linen off the bed and putting it straight into the washing machine. We are well on the way to winning this battle, because they are starting to do this without being asked. We then have to make sure they have had their breakfast and whilst they are doing that, I then can go for my shower. My husband comes out and sorts out their lunch for them and makes sure they are organised for the day’s program that they attend. In between all of this, we need t have our own breakfasts and get our own lunches ready for work. We both work full time, in professional positions – Greg as a special education teacher, and me as a child and youth mental health counselor. This makes our day very busy respectively. Greg is also on leadership at our church and I participate in the worship team at church. One night I week, I attend Bible study as stated above. We also raise a teenage step/daughter who is exploring the delights of being 18 – but it gives me added grey hairs by the minute! By the way, I am her mother, my husband her step-father.  Greg also has two adult children, who have had difficulties with his re-marriage in one form or another. Our life together has been very difficult over the last few years with reactions and statements that we never thought that we would hear from adult people. I think verse 7, which says ‘I walk in the midst of trouble’ is an understatement of our daily challenges.

By the time we get home, we are exhausted.  We are both emotionally and physically drained. As such, it is really easy to be drawn away from God, but the focus must be on him and not away from him. In verse 1, where it says I praise you O Lord with all my heart, my call to worship demonstrates this. I love singing and praising the Lord and to be able to get up and try and uplift other people in praise is awe inspiring. To see the Spirit of the Lord flow through the church and through individual people is absolute joy as they come into closer relationship with God.

In Verse 3, where it says ‘when I called, you answered me’ I think of my salvation and how I came to be with the Lord. My life seemed to be going around in circles all the time with no purpose or direction. I was thinking about what would be remembered of me when I died, and my thoughts turned to that it wouldn’t be the assets or possessions that I had, but the quality of my relationships I had with people left behind. I relate this to my Grandmother. When I think about her, I don’t think of the house that she owned or how much money she had or didn’t have; I think of the relationship I had with her, as her oldest Grandchild and remember the childhood stories that she told. She would tell us made up stories of her neighbours on the English moors on the border of Yorkshire and Lancashire where my mother and Aunt were born.  I remember her absolute pride and delight as I named my daughter after her. I remember her teasing my children; her Great Grandchildren as we visited her each weekend when she lived in a hostel before she became too frail and had to move into the nursing home. I remember the stories that she told in her old age dementia and recognising thin threads of meaning to them, however woe betide us if we tried to correct her memory in that confusion. I remembered how she waited for me before she died. My mother is adamant that she waited until I had arrived at her bedside before she took her last breath. Only a strong will and the Lord granting her wish, can do that.

The Lord knew me before I was born. He placed in front of me people who would guide me toward a Christian faith. When in England, we were allowed to walk to church each Sunday to attend Sunday School. After we migrated to Australia, a Christian family lived down the road, and they asked if they could take my sister and I to church along with their kids. My parents consented. I met that family at my father’s funeral, and they recognised my Christian walk and were pleased with that response.  In my later childhood and in my youth, I attended the Girls Friendly Society and then went to a youth group at the local Uniting Church. After my children were born, I was adamant that my children needed to  be christened within the Christian faith as my then husband dabled with spiritualism. I felt a real ‘evil’ as he did that, and the distinct disintegration of our family in that process. And finally as I sat at my lounge room window and wondered why I hadn’t got it together, I came to the conclusion that God was missing from my life.

Salvation was easy. The road has become harder as Satan tries to draw me away from God and attacks my vulnerabilities with a vengeance.  I have to be ready for that, by reading God’s word and handing my day over to God in prayer before I start each day.

Please pray for me….

The Death of Jesus

33 At the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour:

34 And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” – which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

35 When some of those standing near heard this, they said, “Listen, he’s calling Elijah.”

36 One man ran, filled a sponge with wine vinegar, put it on a stick and offered it to Jesus to drink. “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if Elijah comes to take him down,” he said.

37 With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last.

38 The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.

39 And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, heard his cry and saw how he died, he said, “Surely this man was the Son of God!” Mark 15:33-39

When Jesus died on the cross 3 significant events occurred:

1. Darkness for 3 hours. Mark 15:33

This shows that a supernatural event was occurring. Satan – the lord of darkness seems to be winning.

2. Jesus Cry “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Mark 15:34

At this point Jesus was bearing the penalty for SIN which is separation from God – spiritual and physical death.

3. Torn Curtain Mark 15:38

This floor to ceiling curtain in the temple was very heavy material and woven with gold thread. It separates the priests from the Most Holy Place where Gods covenant box was kept. This Most Holy Place in the Temple represented the Throne of God the ultimate king. The curtain was torn from top to bottom (by God) to show that because of Jesus death, atonement had been made for sin and people could now have access directly to God. Death and Separation from God are the penalty and consequences of sin. (see Genesis 2:17, 3:10,19)

Jesus death on the cross overcame and defeated Satan so that his prisoners (captives of sin) could be set free. Satan one day will be completely destroyed (see Revelation 20:7-10). When Jesus died on the cross he took on himself our sin. He had no sin of his own. He was completely innocent. His death was the result of our sin – he died for us, in place of us, so that we could be forgiven.

Jesus death means that it is possible to be reunited and reconciled with God. Nothing further is required to make this available.

However this Salvation or new beginning must be accepted. It is accepted by recognising and saying that God is right and we have been wrong and lived in ways that displease him. This is repentance. we accept what Jesus has done as our only way to be forgiven and accepted in relationship with God. This is faith. We accept and gain a new beginning, a new start by repentance and faith in Jesus.

The Resurrection: God raised Jesus from death

1. Jesus has triumphed over death! He has provided access to God Jesus has overcome the ultimate penalty for sin – Death and separation from God. Because of this eternal life is secure:

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even though they die.” John 11:25

“Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life.” John 5:4

2. Jesus has triumphed over sin! His death has provided payment (at0nement) for sin. So now we can be forgiven!

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful humanity to be a sin offering. And so he condemened sin in human flesh, in order that the righteousness requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit. Romans 8:3,4

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s graces. Ephesians 1:7

3. Jesus triumphed over Satan! Captives can now be set free. What appeared to be a great defeat was in fact the greatest of victories! Satan has been defeated!

“When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcison of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condmened us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.” Colossians 2: 13-15

4. God raised Jesus to life and so proved that what Jesus had done was fully acceptable to God.

“It is finished”

It also provides great hope for the believer that one day we also will be raised from death and lives with Jesus forever.

What is your response to this?

Repentance and Faith?

Jesus death was no ordinary death, he died to take all the sins away from the world. ‘For the son of man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’ Mark 10:45 NIV

‘For we all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.’ Rom 3:23

The cross is the bridge between us and God. Jesus promised in John 8:12 ‘When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said “I am the light of the world. Who ever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Why did Jesus have to suffer?

He was whipped, then crucified and then the also broke his legs. He could inhale, but to exhale he had to raise his body with his nailed feet, until exhaustion when he died. Non romans were crucified and Romans were beheaded in that day. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering. Like one form whom men hide their faces, he was despised and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered hiim stricken by God, smitten by him and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our inequities; the punishment that bought us peace was upon him.

We remember the day that Jesus was crucified.

As we pray to you today, we thank you for your ultimate gift; that you gave your life so that we can live a life with God. Lord, I place my transgressions and worries at your cross, for you to take them up for me. Lord I think of the poem “Footprints in the sand” where you carry us when things become too hard for us. Lord I lay my sins and troubles at your feet and Lord I thank you for walking beside me, even when I didn’t know you. I thank you for putting in my life wise Christian people who can speak into my life. And Lord I thank you for this loving Church community, that within this house there are people who connect with each other and are able to hold each other’s hands as they travel through their journeys. And Lord, I pray that you pour your holy spirit and blessings down onto this church and the people within it so that we can then uplift your name and your presence into others lives.

Amen

This is the first Tenebres service I have attended and it was very moving and emotional. It bought to life the gift Jesus gave us by dying on the cross for our sins. It also dramatises the betrayal of Jesus and how alone and despairing that would have been for him. When I think of my friends today, I have an expectation that they will love me and support me in my darkest hours, but when Jesus needed his disciples, the people closest to him, one betrayed him and the other refuted him three times. Simon only realised after he had done this, and then wept bitterly. When I was praying, I was meditating being in the garden with Jesus and feeling his despair and sorrow. I then tried to imagine how I would have reacted in that day and age, witnessing Jesus death on the cross; would have I been one of the thousands who passed by him and challenged him to get down off the cross and asked him to prove that he was the son of God, or would have I bowed down at the foot of his cross and laid my sins upon him, worshiping his life and death for us. I don’t know.

What I do know today though, is that Jesus is real, and that his presence in my life uplifts me and gives me strength to deal with day to day tasks that today brings. I try and place my day in Jesus hands before I start and when I look at the sky or at nature I praise him for all the beauty that he gave us to delight in. I praise him for my family and friends and that he places in my life people who love and support me.

I was very melancoly following the service, humble in my human form. I was looking at the stars in the universe and thinking about how God created all of this for us. As I stared into the sky, a jet flew overhead on its way to one of the interstate cities – I was awe inspired about all the knowledge and power that God has allowed us to gain, now giving us the ability to fly anywhere in the world in a short space of time. Then my attention was bought back to people around me, wondering about my thoughts. I thought of heaven up in the skies and my loved ones up there waiting for me. I still wear jewelry that my Grandmother bought me before she died. Mum says that she waited for me before she passed away, and I do wonder if that is true, that God allowed her to do that before he took her to be near him.

What a wonderful world we have….

Thank God for it all

How do you tend to recognize God’s presence in your day?

I listen to 96.five on the way to work and on the way home. Along with secular songs, they also air lots of Christian songs.
There are also comments about how we live our lives as Christian’s that I listen to on my way to work. At work, my focus is on the kids I need to see and how I may help them, but on the way home I also listen to 96.five. God is also in my life in Church, and as I read the bible. Studying the bible is important to me. I also enjoy linking with my Christian friends, and that within these God is centre. God’s presence for me is a feeling of warmth and a sensation of God having his arms around me. I also feel God in my day when I have space to meditate on him. I acknowledge his presence, and sometimes I may put a Christian CD on to listen to. A Christian song may also pop into my head. I think of people who are my Christian friends.

How does the presence of the fruit of the Spirit in your life reveal God’s presence and his will?

As I worship, I am drawn nearer to God. God places on my heart desires to do his work and to praise his name. I also get confirmations from his word – often I will get a word from God in a sermon about something. I also believe that I have the gift of prophecy and that often my prayer is prayed by someone else. Pastor John says that when you are prophetic, it’s like a radar, that God sends down the message and several people will pick up the same thing. This though needs to be developed and enriched in an environment that is loving and supportive.

What has God been doing in your life int he past six months?

God has called me to worship. I use a quiet and reflective style, but the worship songs I choose for the day are not all quiet and reflective. I think about and pray about the message that is going to be delivered on the day. From that, I then choose the songs and hymns that best reflect the message. As a beginner though, this gift will be developed over time. I have a desire on my heart to lift other people up to worship. Other themes that are that I have a desire on my heart to provide counselling at my church. I need to study around this to place a Christian framework around my counselling degree but this will happen over time. I will need to listen to God’s word and God’s timing around this.